13 Steps To Build Your Resilience

Having resilience capacity is not something extraordinary, it can be seen in ordinary people who demonstrate an admirable capacity to recover from the hard blows of life. Being resilient is not synonymous with being a cold or calculating person, nothing is further from the truth.

Resilience is a capacity that guides us to the future, to hope and strength. But above all it guides us towards action. Resilience can be learned, it is not a personality trait that occurs in some people and not others.

There are many factors that contribute to resilience.  One of the main ones is to have meaningful relationships with the environment around you, through your family and friends. Another factor is the ability to make realistic plans, well design the steps to follow in them, have a positive view of oneself or the ability to handle strong emotions or impulses.

Ways to increase resilience

The good news is that although it may seem complicated, all these skills can be developed and learned. Therefore, it is not something that is only accessible to a few, everyone at some point in our life can be resilient.

Here are some ways to increase your level of resilience. Do not hesitate to put them into practice

• Establish good relationships with your environment:  think of family, friends, co-workers or even other parents of the children who play with yours. Establish a social circle that makes you perceive that your time is well spent and that you are an important part of your micro or mesosystem.

• Accept that change is essential for life:  there is no evolution without change and even if you did not want to evolve at all, change would occur. Therefore, adapting to change will help you implement more dynamic strategies and differentiate the circumstances of your life that are unchangeable from those that are modifiable in order to improve what you want.
• Avoid taking the crises in your life as insurmountable problems : you cannot prevent highly stressful events from appearing in your life, but you can improve your reaction to them. Try to broaden your vision and be aware that most stressors are temporary, not fixed or permanent. If they are, design an organization and action plan.
• Set small goals that are achievable : If you have a big goal on the horizon, the way to get there is not by running. You have to go little by little, setting small realistic goals. Be aware of how far you can go because “he who covers a lot, little squeezes “. If you are able to fulfill some of them, feel good about yourself. You are already on the road.

• Don’t be afraid to make decisions : don’t ignore problems, try not to procrastinate. If you can do it now and it will save you trouble, do it as soon as you can. If you can’t do it now, be able to wait for the moment to do it without giving it a lot of thought first.
• Cultivate a positive view of yourself : self-confidence in personal abilities and a positive attitude contribute to forming a resilient attitude.
• Discover yourself : perhaps after a hard blow you feel the need to find your most spiritual part, to read, to explore your body and mind through different activities. A busy mind keeps you away from bad thoughts and helps you establish a foundation for yourself that will serve you well in the future.

• Keep things in perspective : that something specific bad has happened to you does not mean that your entire life is adrift, nor that your personality and values ​​are too. Define the problem well to be able to stop it and prevent it from contaminating the beauty in your life.

• Ask yourself what has made you come out of the “well” on other occasions : remember tough situations that you have been through in your life and think that it was key to your recovery. If you are clear about it, start them again because what has gone well for one person in one circumstance may be good for him in another.
• Take care of yourself : that work or occupations are not the only thing that fills your time. Do things that you like and with which you can enjoy and above all, rest. Spend a lot of time with people who make you feel good.

• Unburden yourself : even if they are strong emotions, express them. Emotional repression can even make a person sick.
• Consult books, therapies or web resources : try to locate people who have gone through the same thing as you when you are ready to speak intimately or turn to professionals if what you need is to move forward and do not know where to start.
• Perseverance and confidence will be your allies to face the road. Do not forget.

Resilience is not an isolated quality, it is a way of understanding life that will help you

They say that when you get strong there are few things that hurt you or prevent you from continuing with your life with enthusiasm and with all your plans as you had planned. Resilience would be the ability to endow that force not only with sensations or reactions, but also to frame it within a strategy that helps people improve the way in which they fit their vital stressors.

Once you are aware of it, it only remains for you to develop it and put it into practice.  With determination and perseverance you can achieve it. Being resilient is a skill that can be learned  and that will help you understand life in a different way.