5 Signs That Someone Wants To Play The Victim

Playing the victim becomes an effective strategy in certain contexts and in certain situations. Most of the people who opt for it are not aware that they are doing it. Their dose of paranoia leads them to think that, in truth, they are being subjected to injustice or gratuitous attacks.

What is missing from the equation of someone who wants to play the victim is an analysis of their behavior . Likewise, a reflection on the response it offers to difficult or conflictive situations. They start from the premise that they are particularly vulnerable and that others abuse them in various ways, even if this is not true.

The point is that playing the victim can be an advantageous strategy in some situations. If the person who engages in this behavior experiences that it helps them avoid responsibilities or get away with it, they will surely continue to do so. Often times, so-called “victims” end up victimizing others to achieve their purposes. Let’s see what signs give them away.

1. Who wants to play the victim exaggerates his efforts

This is one of the most obvious signs in the behavior of someone who wants to play the victim. Often, he  exaggerates his efforts, either in theory or in practice.

In theory, when it overestimates the importance of what it does or the energy it demands of them. Thus, cleaning the dust from the desk can be for them an unquestionable proof of their “slavery” and their “martyrdom”.

Efforts are also exaggerated in practice when more is done than needs to be done, not out of perfectionism  or because it is necessary, but to have a pretext that allows them to victimize themselves. For example, when work hours are exceeded, without anyone asking for it, all to regret after that situation.

2. Avoid responsibility for your mistakes

One of the most obvious traits in someone who wants to play the victim is his desire to awaken the compassion of others, when faced with a difficulty or problem. They are not the type of people who in these circumstances ask for help or call for empathy, but rather, they definitely want others to feel sorry for them.

These people see themselves as helpless children, completely lacking the initiative and resources to overcome difficulties. Therefore, it is as if they are always looking for someone to adopt them and solve their problems. In short, they evade the responsibility of facing life and its vicissitudes.

3. Complains constantly

The complaint is very typical of someone who wants to victimize himself. The usual thing is that everyone around him wonders why he complains about the same thing that he favors. The essence of that neurotic complaint is precisely that: complaining for complaining. Regret for regretting.

There is no intention of reviewing situations and changing what is out of whack or requires modifications. The idea is exactly the opposite: to keep things as they are, to have a basis on which to make the complaint. As the person who overspends and later laments his lack of resources.

4. Blames others frequently

Those who feel like a victim, and adopt the role of victim in front of others, often have difficulties evaluating their own behavior. He takes it for granted that he “does everything with good intentions” or “to the best of his ability.” So if a problem arises, the usual thing is that you do not look for the cause of it in your own mistakes, but in the actions of others.

Whoever is victimized often ends up victimizing others through guilt. They tend to have a large repertoire of ideas and phrases that are intended to blame others for matters that are the result of their own mistakes. If they do a task wrong and someone points it out to them, they do not think about the mistake made, but about the insensitivity and lack of consideration towards the other.

5. Look for dependency or codependency relationships

Since the victimizers assume themselves as if they were defenseless children, it is very common for them to look everywhere for protectors. People who guide them, who tell them what to do and get them out of difficulties when they arise.

Of course, they find people willing to do it, since there are always those who complement this neurotic game. In general, veiled attackers who end up paying dearly for their help and protection. This is how circles of dependency and codependency are formed, which end up going deeper into the difficulties of those who compose them.

Surely all of us have at some time fallen into the temptation to play the victim. It can be nice to feel like someone is taking care of us again. The problem appears when this behavior becomes constant and becomes a strategy for assuming, or rather not assuming, life.