5 Tips For Being More Patient Parents
In general , patience is not the strong point of today’s parents. Perhaps patience is not something especially widespread. The stress to which we are subjected, the competitiveness of the environment, the rush, the high expectations that they place on us and that we place on our children and the uncertainty about what will happen in the future makes us nervous.
If we add to that that children are, by definition, exasperating, we find ourselves in a difficult situation to master – although not impossible. Children can drive you crazy, but it is in their nature to act that way. But getting carried away and losing control is up to the parents.
Staying in control is the key to being more patient parents. Control – or, rather, self-control – helps to set limits and manage circumstances, to understand them and make smarter decisions.
It is difficult, why are we going to fool ourselves. Children challenge their parents more intensely when they try to gather patience, in a struggle to see who can do more. And if you lose control, you lose the game. It is up to you to keep your position on the board.
1 – Take a break
When you are tired you need time to recharge your batteries. In that situation you are not in a position to make healthy, intelligent and rational decisions. Any strong emotion will block your emotional thinking.
Therefore, do not make decisions when you are tired and do not get carried away. Your children should know that you are tired and that you need a moment to yourself. Also, don’t try to be a parent at these times. Don’t check homework or try to control anything. Wait until you are more rested.
2 – Count to ten and start over
If the situation gets out of hand with your children and you lose your temper, count to ten and take a deep breath. You have to “reset” your mind. You can’t go on like that. You can also ask your child for a “time out” in which each one goes to a part before continuing. You need to calm down.
Take a deep breath and exhale slowly, consciously. Do it several times, counting to ten. This breath will help you calm down. You probably naturally sigh due to prolonged exhalation, and this is a natural way to help us de-stress.
3 – be patient with yourself
Sometimes we parents demand too much of ourselves and we want to be the perfect parents. That puts pressure on us and when we see that we fail, we get even more exasperated. We get angry with ourselves for not being the way we would like or for not knowing how to handle the situation.
But you are human. If you recognize your limitations, you will also find a way to overcome them. And you will apply the same to the relationship with your children. Be more patient with yourself to be more patient with them.
4 – Do not behave like a child
Children do not have the capacity for reasoning and self-control that we adults have. And you know. Acting like a child does not bring you closer to their understanding of things or help you make yourself understood.
Assume your role as an adult, your role as a parent, redefine your concept of discipline. Children are irrational, but you must act differently. And, if you can’t, you must learn to do it.
5 – Rehearse your patient behavior
Many parents are used to losing their temper because they cannot speak otherwise. Therefore, you must practice. Imagine moments, put yourself in a situation, analyze past moments and think how you could have done things differently.
Think about what triggers your loss of control and don’t see loss of patience as an option. Instead, imagine how the situation would progress while staying in control and calm, in how you might feel. You have to train your brain to trigger the reactions that interest you.
