Knowing How To Say No
Have you ever said yes, meaning no?
Have you ended up doing something you didn’t want just for fear of refusing?
Often in our lives we find ourselves with dilemmas after which we must make a certain decision, but …
Are we really able to decide and do what we want with freedom? There are many people who in daily life move into this trap, becoming anguished when they have to decide between themselves and others, often confusing humility with sacrifice or favor with obligation.
What can prompt us to say yes?
On many occasions, we realize that we are complacent with others, even though we are clear in our mind whether or not we want to do something. The point is, we may not want to, but we still give in. This can be due to many reasons, depending on the context, the person and what happened, but in general the causes are usually shyness, lack of social skills, fear of disappointing or being rejected, the need to be approved or to please others, lack of self-confidence, etc …
Even sometimes, when we cannot say “no” it is because we do not know how to differentiate what our priorities are, where we are aiming or what our target is, finding ourselves lost in our doubts. But it will be the decisions we make that are determined by what we want to achieve, therefore, do we point to the right place? Or are we still talking about things to talk about? If we know what we want, we can define what we will accept and what we will reject, with both yes and no being limits and permissions that we grant ourselves.
Usually we do not know how to say no to the people closest to us, or to those we have affection or fear, in any case, the only thing we do not want is to offend, therefore thinking that it is better not to say our opinion. But this is a mistake, because every time we deny ourselves what we want, what we do is devalue and ignore ourselves. If what happens is that for a moment we doubt, it is advisable to take some time to reflect and decide, and once we have decided, keep it and not change it at the first change, since being true to ourselves and our words will do credible and trustworthy people of us. Words have their value, let’s control them.
How can we learn to say no?
– Asking ourselves and reflecting on whether what they ask of us is something we really want to do.
– Take some time before answering.
– Is there time to do it? Do you have time for it? Evaluate your priorities.
– Possibility of finding a middle point, establishing an agreement.
– Be honest and kind when we say “no”. Be assertive yes.
– Start practicing it.
– Do not allow him to peek into guilt.
Don’t say yes when you want to say no. Saying “no” is necessary. You have to learn to say “no” with peace, without hatred, arguments or bad tones.
