When Doing Nothing Is A Decision

Sometimes we try to work things out by following a path that only trips us over the same stone over and over again. And sometimes, we also get impatient when we want to find an answer to a problem that makes us suffer. We do not realize that we can do nothing and that perhaps this is the best we can do.

If all attempts have been unsuccessful or have even made the problem worse, it may be best to stop trying. Even if it’s for a while, sometimes doing nothing is for the best. It is already a decision.

Not because of a lack of interest, nor because we have given up or failed, but because stopping trying is a different solution, a twist, an alternative. Nor does it mean that we have to let time pass and pretend that he is the one to solve it.

Doing nothing does not mean abandoning all that you have advanced, that is already a path traveled that contributes to our learning. It is just about improving our emotional state by distancing ourselves from what is damaging us and undermining our self-esteem. It is about prudently moving away from what hurts us.

When doing nothing is the best choice

There are many types of problems, each requiring a different solution. It would be impossible to apply this rule in a general way to all the questions of life and not to do, is not a hymn to inactivity, laziness or disinterest: the goal is to improve a situation. These are some examples that we can have in which doing nothing is another decision.

A little boy who knows that with tantrums he gets our attention

Then we pay attention to his desperate call and repeat the same strategy again to win what he claims. What if we do nothing? What if we ignore, calmly, his wake-up call and later explain that his strategy does not work?

With the simple fact of not answering their call, we are ceasing to reinforce their behavior. Which translates into a reduction in the probability that this attitude will be repeated in the future as a method to achieve something.

A friend holds us responsible for her discomfort

We have tried to help her in the best way we could and spent the time that was in our hands. Still she blames us that we haven’t been there the way she would have liked.

It is normal to go through bad times in life and understand that a person can act unfairly and empathize with them, but should we justify this personal attack?

Being told that in some way we have been able to disappoint someone we love usually makes us feel bad. But we cannot be responsible for not being when the person who has the problem would have liked us to be, at the right time and moment.

At the end of the day,  we cannot read the minds of others, nor are we superheroes who can attend to a drop in the mood of another person at all times. And less, if we are not even aware that this was happening. You have to be there, of course, but not at all costs and under any circumstances.

A person and you do not stop arguing

With each new attempt, the situation worsens and there seems to be no light that illuminates a good outcome. In that case, if you have already tried everything, perhaps the best thing is to let it be for a period of time. Doing nothing, which in turn is already doing something.

Of course, in this case, it is best to communicate it openly to the other party, to try to make them understand that it is preferable to take a little distance than to continue increasing the problem.

When we spend time to improve our emotional state and we move away from a source of suffering, we can see more clearly and analyze conflict situations better and make better decisions away from the stress that is getting worse and worse. And no, we are not selfish about it.