Recognition, The Key To Dignity And Self-esteem

We all need recognition. First of ourselves to validate ourselves in our capacities, image and worth. Likewise, recognition is also that pillar with which to establish the foundations of self-esteem in children, the impulse that the employee needs in their work and the bond that will build a solid relationship between the couple, there where we know we are loved, valued, appreciated …

The concept of recognition, curious as it may be to us, sometimes raises some misunderstanding. Some see it as a negative dimension, because people who continually seek positive reinforcement from others are unable to maintain adequate emotional independence. They are, in the eyes of many, personalities that build their self-esteem based on the answers offered by others.

Well, it must be said that the key to all of this is in balance. Because if there is something that we cannot rule out, it is the great relevance that recognition has in our relational, social and emotional fabric. Moreover, if we now recall Maslow’s pyramid of needs we will see that recognition occupies a prominent place. It is at this point in the hierarchy where that subtle harmony between self-recognition or the ability to feel competent with ourselves is contained with the importance that others also value what we are and do.

Recognition, a form of personal and social dignity

The human being lives in a constant duality. We all like to feel present in an environment, but at the same time, we also enjoy being absent, feeling free, independent and sometimes separated from our daily settings. Now, something that nobody can like is being invisible. To be that figure that nobody sees or appreciates, that is not taken into account.

This is well known to the child who lives in the last rows of the classroom, in a corner of the courtyard with no one to talk to, with no one to enjoy a rich and colorful childhood. The adolescent who no one values ​​but whom everyone sanctions knows. And the person who does not feel valued by the couple knows it well, who lives in the storage room of the deepest loneliness and emotional confusion. Recognition is a psychic tendon that validates us with our reference groups and that, in turn, dignifies us as people.

Because to recognize someone is to make him visible. It is giving him presence, it is allowing him to “be”, “to be” and to create himself in freedom. It is appreciating someone for who they are by giving them an affection that encourages personal growth, but does not restrict or invalidate. Recognition generates self-acceptance so that, in some way, we can also further strengthen the muscle of our self-esteem.

On the other hand, an aspect that we cannot forget about self-esteem is that this self-evaluating perception also includes the way we believe others see us. One thing cannot be separated from the other. We are social beings and what others tell us or think about us will influence us in one way or another.

Recognition is important, but we cannot rely exclusively on it

We realize that few things can be more painful than rejection. Experiencing abandonment or contempt within our social group of reference sets off our alarms and the panic button. Because the loneliness not chosen, the isolation caused by unhealthy, negative or neglected bonds, generate suffering. Now, as we have pointed out at the beginning,  people must reconcile the recognition that we provide ourselves with that which we receive from others.

Focusing our lifestyle based solely on external positive reinforcements generates dependency and discomfort. Therefore, it is important that we remember a simple aspect. The quality with which we recognize ourselves will in turn influence how others value us. Let’s take some examples. The employee who is confident in his skills, who feels skilled and confident will create a positive impact on his work environment. Your performance will be good and, on average, others will recognize your efforts.

Another example. The person who values ​​himself, who feels fulfilled, free and autonomous builds much more solid affective relationships. That mature and confident character also awakens recognition and admiration, but never mutual dependence. Constant reinforcement is not needed, nor will our happiness depend exclusively on whether or not we receive that positive recognition today. There is a perfect balance between what we give ourselves and what others offer us from the most absolute sincerity, from the most authentic affection.

To conclude, we cannot ignore this concept today. Recognition is the foundation of every society for a very simple reason: it favors inclusion. It makes the invisible present regardless of age, condition, ethnicity or character. Knowing how to recognize is also knowing how to love intelligently, because whoever practices the healthiest recognition is capable of validating the other for what they are and not for what one would like them to be.

Let us therefore learn to recognize each other, make people and needs visible through affection, availability and humility.