Feeling Everything Intensely: People “emotional Sponges “

There are people who are, by nature, highly sensitive and there are others who in certain circumstances become extremely perceptive and vulnerable. In both cases there is an effect that makes them behave like “emotional sponges”, that is, as agents that easily absorb the emotions of the environment.

Although in principle this state of “emotional sponges” gives them a certain advantage over others, given their high capacity for perception, it is also a factor that leads them to become emotionally overloaded. Therefore, it is not uncommon for them to end up being the victims  of extreme tension and constant stress, which is very difficult to dissipate.

People “emotional sponges” end up overwhelmed very easily. What is a virtue easily becomes a burden. Unfortunately, others often make them recipients of their own overload, given their empathy and receptivity.

People “emotional sponges”

People who are “emotional sponges” have some characteristics that allow us to identify them. In general, they are highly receptive to the  emotional condition of other people individually, but also to the subjective atmosphere of groups.

The main characteristics of these people are the following:

• They are very intuitive. They don’t need anyone to tell them how they feel to tell if they are right or wrong. They get it easily.
• They have  excessive empathy. Not only are they capable of putting themselves in the shoes of others, but they also do it in an extreme way. In other words, they come to feel the emotions of others as their own.
• They feel responsible for the welfare of others. In particular, they believe that they must help others when they are unwell. They feel disgusted with themselves if they don’t.
• They look for solutions to the problems of others. Their excessive empathy and appropriation of the pain of others, leads them to invest a good part of their time in reflecting on how to solve the problems of others.
• They are overwhelmed by the emotions of others. For people “emotional sponges” it is very difficult to feel if they know the suffering of another. They literally appropriate those negative emotions.

• They attract toxic people. It is easy for them to end up surrounded by people full of problems, or those who seek to emotionally exploit others.
• They prioritize others. These people act as if there is a mandate that leads them to undermine their own well-being, based on the well-being of others.

Too high a weight

People “emotional sponges” get to hurt themselves, due to their excess of sensitivity, empathy and solidarity. Most often, from a very young age they have become used to carrying the problems of others, even their own parents. They are required to understand and help, simply because they have the facility and willingness to do so.

The problem is that, without noticing it, these very sensitive people end up forgetting themselves, most of the time driven by the selfish desires of others. They can get to use them or make them visible only when they give their help.

In this way, extreme sensitivity and enormous empathy lead them to adopt the role of eternal “emotional regulators”. The cost can be very high, because there can come a point where they become invisible to themselves, becoming potential victims of emotional abuse.

The “absorption” of neurosis

An emotionally very sensitive person can blur their identity, precisely because of the great influence that others have on their emotions. An example illustrates it better. A mother tells her son that he is insensitive because he does not call often.

However, if the situation is examined in detail, things could be exactly the opposite of how the mother puts it. Perhaps it is she who is insensitive to her son, blaming him for her own limitations. This type of behavior corresponds to a defense mechanism called “projective identification”.

In the first place, what an “emotional sponge” person can do is become aware of how exposed they are to being a victim of toxic behaviors. Then, it is necessary to learn to manage the feeling of guilt, digesting it and preventing it from governing your actions.

The solution is also to learn to value one’s own feelings, setting limits for others where necessary.