How Depression Affects The Mother-child Relationship
There is a beautiful phrase by Edwin Chapin, full of truth and strength: “No language can express the power, beauty and heroism of a mother’s love. ” But what happens when depression affects the mother-child relationship? Is there anything we can do?
Only a mother and her own child know the ties that bind them. They are powerful, strong, unshakable if both are really determined and the love is sincere. However, there are many external and internal factors that can affect this powerful union.
There is no doubt that depression is one of the most fearsome illnesses of our time. Misunderstanding and loneliness are two realities that unfortunately popularize this condition. This could be explained from Beck’s theory of depression because when we are depressed we have a very negative vision of ourselves, our environment and the future, causing us to isolate ourselves even from our loved ones.
The influence of the parent on the mother-child relationship
The influence that parents exert on their children is decisive in their development. The state of mind of a mother possesses an enormous force that will be of paramount importance in the first days of the child.
After the birth of a child, it is normal to find mothers with fear. In fact, it can become a psychic regression that directly affects the baby. It is time to recover and overcome the situation, but not all of them succeed.
If the depression lasts over time, the environment will affect the mother-child relationship and directly the child’s development. The son will suffer and will try to satisfy the demands of his mother, above claiming or worrying that hers are met.
Studies on the effect of depression on the mother-child relationship
Donald Winnicott, a famous English psychoanalyst, was one of the most determining figures in the treatment of depression in mothers and its effect on children. In fact, his interest doubled when a woman came to his office concerned about her child’s weight loss.
Winnicott was struck by the fact that this mother was depressed. In addition, he identified that the concern for his little one endowed the woman with relief, something that took his mind away from other habitual worries.
Through contact with the boy, she discovered that this woman was mistreated by her husband. A husband who “cared” for his self-esteem and happiness at the cost of his wife’s pain and suffering.
And it was not until the child became aware of the family situation that he began to eat again. However, despite the child’s improvement, Winnicott recommended that his mother receive psychological treatment, since all this would have a positive impact on the improvement of her son.
What a depressed mother is like
A depressed mother disconnects her vital impulse and deprives her child of the affection that he needs. Hence, the boy’s behavior may be altered. In this article we have told the case of a child who stops eating, but the effects can be varied.
All this process can end up with children with true disabilities to relate to their peers and their environment. Babies have been known to even stop smiling naturally. They just keep the gesture to please.
How to improve the mother-child relationship in the face of depression
Depression is a complex illness that has a difficult solution. However, a mother afflicted with this condition needs a great deal of willpower and courage to get out of it. The affection for the child will be one of the elements that can help her to get out.
It is also important to know that we are not gods. Despite being parents, we don’t know everything. Furthermore, our children, despite having the material issues resolved, are not exempt from conflict. We have to face them and help the little ones in this same sense.
Depression must be given its true importance. Minimizing it or trying to pretend that nothing bad is happening is a mistake that can only aggravate the situation. It is important to trust, listen and understand.
Of course, psychotherapeutic help is essential. A good professional helps clear the situation. It will prevent them from becoming resistant and will alleviate the suffering of both the patient and their own loved ones, especially children.
Depression can be a determining factor in the mother-child relationship, seriously conditioning the child’s development. Hence, it is necessary to treat it in a convenient way to give the little ones all the happiness they deserve.
