In The Couple: What Is Positive And Negative About The Routine?

How many times have you heard that a close marriage has separated because “love ended”? Can that feeling really end or aren’t we doing enough to maintain it? Could it be that we neglect love too much and do not realize which are its worst enemies? Perhaps the reason is in the routine.

Without a doubt, routine and monotony are two of the reasons why couples fight, separate or divorce. However, we can also use both to our advantage and improve the bond with that person we love and with whom we have established a commitment.

The intrusion of routine

Doing the same thing every day is very common in our lives and by extension in the life we ​​lead with our partners. Thus, what ends up causing the break  is not “the death of love” but the intrusion of routine.

The worst enemy of love is undoubtedly monotony, in other words, boredom. Always doing the same things, going to the same places (or not going anywhere), chatting about the same topics, watching the same movies, going on vacation to the same destination year after year, etc.

Routine is the starting point for other relationship problems, such as infidelity.  With this we do not intend to justify the person who cheats on his partner, but to establish one of the underlying reasons that facilitate this to happen.

Think for a moment, what do we do when we get bored? We look for something else that amuses us. Well, something similar happens with love and routine. If we always receive and offer the same and that bores us, it will be easier to want to find fun elsewhere.

But on the other hand, did you know that there is a “good side” to routine? Of course, because as another popular saying related to glasses indicates, you have to see half full and not half empty. Monotony in marriage has always been viewed as a negative and this does not have to be the case 100% of the time.

The positives and negatives of routine

What is positive about the routine? First of all I will list the good aspects of the routine in the couple because, although we always think that there are none, in reality this is not the case:

• Safety:  the feeling of being cared for and protected when we always do the same thing can be a good thing, since otherwise, fear makes us act in a strange way, under pressure. Many young couples fear the routine of always having dinner in the kitchen or shopping on Saturday mornings. Actually, no one has to suffer with it, but learn to seek happiness in “the safe”.
• The knowledge : if you are always doing different things, at what point will you sit down to analyze what your partner (and you) likes? Each of the things that we do routinely show us who we have next to us, what the other thinks or feels and that really is good.

Monotony is bad when we forget about the person who sleeps with us every night due to chores or the same daily maelstrom. This means that what happens outside the couple is what destroys it, but also how we approach each situation.

For example, if every day the woman makes dinner when she gets home from work and that means not asking the couple how their day has been, or the husband is in charge of picking up the children at school but at arriving stays in front of the television or the computer. Those are the things that little by little damage the relationship, like the drops that gradually fall on the stone.

Attention, it is not a problem if these activities or habits are done a few times a week, but when it is a task done in the same way from Monday to Sunday, for months and months (or even years). It is therefore necessary to differentiate and determine what kind of routine we want in our life, if the positive one that helps us to forge a good relationship or the negative one that destroys and “kills love .” The decision is up to you.