It Is Easier To Raise Strong Children Than To Repair Broken Adults

Emotions play a determining role in turning a child into a happy and successful adult . However, if a child’s emotional development deviates, he will suffer as a consequence a great variety of personal and social problems throughout his life… In this case we will raise vulnerable children instead of strong children.

But the truth is that being responsible for the emotional education of children is not an easy task. In other words, making a child understand that feelings have as many shades as colors even if they do not see them is something at least complicated.

Emotional awareness as the basis of childhood strength

Emotional awareness is the best vehicle for change in our life. In other words, we have to be aware of what causes us frustrating and negative or positive and pleasant feelings in order to find ways to encourage, understand and control them.

If we achieve this, we will ensure that children (and future adults) are capable of having feelings about their own feelings, that is, they will be strong children. This, even though it sounds redundant,

The importance of emotional communication

A good example of what the acquisition of these skills can mean to raise strong children is found in the book “” by Shapiro Lawrence:

Martin, a six-year-old whose parents were going through a particularly damaging divorce process. Martin’s father insisted that he fly to visit him in Boston every weekend, while his mother maintained custody during the week in Richmond, Virginia. Martin barely said a word during the two-and-a-half-hour trip out and insisted on going to bed as soon as he got to either house. After two months of this arrangement, Martin began to complain of stomachaches and his teacher noted that he rarely spoke to anyone at school.

During the custody hearing, Martin’s attorney asked him:

-How do you feel visiting your father every weekend?

“I don’t know,” Martin answered.

“Well, are you happy to see your father when you get to Boston?” Asked his lawyer, controlling his own emotions and trying not to guide Martin towards one answer or the other.

“I don’t know,” Martin replied again, in a barely audible monotonous tone.

-What about your mother? Are you happy to live with her during the week? – inquired the lawyer, realizing that he would get only one answer from Martin during the procedure.

“I don’t know,” Martin said once more, and nothing in his demeanor suggested that he did.

As we have clearly seen in the example, this causes a very high suffering that we should not allow in our children. And it is that the ability of a child to translate their emotions into words is essential for the satisfaction of basic needs. If we teach children to express themselves emotionally, little by little they will develop strong children.

This is so among other things because the words that describe emotions are directly connected with feelings and the physiological and emotional expression of these (for example, a child should know that anxiety is associated with a slight acceleration of the pulse, an increase in blood pressure and great stress on the body).

You have to cultivate emotional language

Thus, although we can learn the language of emotions throughout our lives, it is the people who speak it from youth who express themselves more clearly and, therefore, are more emotionally and socially competent, which opens them doors to vital success and the achievement of your dreams.

Therefore, the moral “obligation” that we all have to cultivate this vital aspect in our children is totally justified , because only by raising strong children, we will avoid having to repair so many adults broken by loneliness, mistrust and lack of love towards themselves. and towards society.

Images courtesy of Claudia Tremblay and Karim Taylor