It Is Not In Your Hands To Change Others, Only Yourself

How many times have you tried to change others? It may have been you or they may have wanted to change you. Be that as it may, this is something that, no matter how hard we try, we will not be able to achieve. Consider the case of telling someone to quit smoking. If that person does not want to quit tobacco, no matter how much you tell them to quit and accept, they will not. You just have to look at yourself and ask yourself: would I do something that I really don’t want to do?

We do not live in a virtual world in which you can change those around you, because in this real world there are only two options: accept or walk away. But at no time will the option of modifying the way of being of others be present.

Don’t try to change others

To understand a little about the fact that you cannot go through life trying to change the essence of third parties, no matter how hard we try. Therefore, we share with you this teaching that comes to us in the form of a story:

Let us think carefully about what this short story has wanted to tell us. The king thought that changing all the people would be easy, so he never thought of the other possibility. The same thing happens to us. We believe that changing others is always going to be easier than, for example, changing ourselves.

This is something that we learn and that we must begin to see with different eyes so as not to make the many mistakes that we make on many occasions. Trying to make others change seems like the easiest option, much more than changing ourselves. Because there we can change. Own change is possible, someone else’s is uncertain!

Accept, but don’t change

Why is it necessary to change to accept? Sometimes we love the person who is by our side so much that by not losing them we want them to change. But do you know what that implies? Changing someone causes that person to no longer be themselves. You will steal its essence. If you really don’t feel comfortable with her, if you don’t accept how she is, how she acts, walk away!

It is easy to say, but difficult to do. Of course, you will lose strength and energy looking for a change that will never happen, but in which you will strive. Accepting people as they are costs us, many more times than we think. We unconsciously try to change them.

How many times have you gotten mad at someone because they don’t act the way you want them to? Let’s think about couples, which is where this state of wanting to transform the other happens most. That it doesn’t act how you want it to? Everyone is free. If you don’t like his way of reacting or acting, why are you still by his side?

Demand a lot from yourself and expect little from others

You can change, but only if you want to. Imagine that another person tells you to change, urges you that they can’t stand you like that, and you try to change. That is going to be impossible. You can only change if you propose it yourself.

Accept people as they are and never think that changing someone is the solution. It really is an easy and fruitless solution that may have many more consequences than you think. Don’t risk it. Change yourself, accept others.