Love Yourself, You’re Going To Need Yourself
We spend half our lives wanting to be different from who we are, compromising our emotional balance. We want to have a different body from the one we have, make up our defects, enhance what we lack and ultimately be who we are not. This effort to be fighting with oneself only causes us discomfort, sometimes unjustified. Life is sometimes simpler, love yourself for who you are.
With this I do not mean that we do not fight to improve, to find ourselves and to obtain what we want from ourselves, but from there to not accepting ourselves there is a line in which there are many emotional problems that we inoculate ourselves. They have taught us to value ourselves through external goals that are not very affordable for the majority of the population. Society lives installed in a general malaise for goals that would provide us with a dubious well-being and that in any case are in the future. We live much better than years ago, but we are much less happy.
For example, people who want to improve their self-concept from the body are faced with a curious dilemma. Most, once they have achieved their aesthetic goal, still do not love themselves and will continue not to do so if they do not see the background of that discomfort. Loving each other is the only way we have left if we want to leave behind much of our insecurity. So love yourself because you are going to need yourself.
Love yourself, if all else fails you will only have yourself
The idea that each of us has of ourselves defines our self-concept. If we are able to assess our positive aspects, accepting our limitations, we will have a good personal image. While if we value ourselves only for negative aspects, we will feel unhappy, which will lead us to not being able to accept ourselves and from there, to not loving ourselves.
Our level of self-esteem determines how we relate in life. Self-esteem is independent of external things, it is rather a reflection of the satisfaction we feel for who we are. This satisfaction is more common in optimistic people, since they are able to see their qualities and accept their weaknesses. Instead, pessimistic people filter out only their most unfavorable characteristics, misaligning what they really are like.
Moderate optimism can be part of that hopeful formula for healthy self-esteem. It is estimated that around 30% of optimism has a genetic load, so the remaining 70% is learned. We can increase our optimism, nurturing rewarding emotional states, fostering positive styles of thinking and not judging things that do not affect us.
We tend to value those around us more than ourselves
We value qualities more in others because we do not have enough confidence, or often not enough patience, to see them in ourselves. To value ourselves in a fair and beneficial way, we first have to respect ourselves, thus giving ourselves a vote of confidence.
In general, we don’t value ourselves enough. Each of us is unique in qualities, but many of us do not know how to give ourselves the proper value. If we do not value ourselves, it is not because others do not do it, but because we ourselves do not do it sufficiently. A good self-esteem does not depend on the opinion that others have of us, but on the result of our personal evaluation.
When we value ourselves, our personal characteristics and the way we relate to ourselves come into play. This assessment determines that we can accept ourselves as we are and above all that we love ourselves for who we are. Valuing ourselves in an adjusted way means believing that we are capable of facing life. Love yourself, don’t forget …
Love yourself and help yourself grow
As the psychologist John Mayer states, self-aware people “are autonomous and secure people from their own borders; psychologically healthy people who tend to have a positive outlook on life ; people who, when they fall into a negative state of mind, do not obsessively turn it over and, consequently, quickly come out of it ” . To begin to love ourselves is to begin to be aware of ourselves in order to begin to grow.
When we embark on the path to building healthy self-esteem, we become aware of our limitations. However, we do not transform them into obstacles or objects of punishment. On the contrary, we make of them an apprenticeship. We may ask ourselves, what can I learn from this weak point? As the psychologist Daniel Goleman defends, “life is strewn with ups and downs, but we must learn to maintain balance. ” So, if we love each other, if we become masters of our emotions, we will be helping ourselves to grow, to mature.
