Missing Is More Than Remembering
Missing someone is one of the most painful feelings we can experience. Missing goes beyond reminding us of the good times we lived with that person, although they are no longer part of our life and we have long since taken them out of our hearts, their memory haunts us night and day.
So why do we miss it, is it possible to avoid it? The problem of missing someone lies in the emptiness that that being has left us when they leave. The space must be filled in some way and the solution is not always to let someone else in.
When missing hurts
We can cite many examples of people we miss: we miss an adolescent love, a very dear friend, a grandfather who died some time ago, the moments of happiness with our family in childhood …
We do not want to be surprised, but nevertheless it is something that we cannot control and that hurts greatly. Beyond the fault that that person (or that situation) can do to us, what really makes us feel is a tightness in the chest and tears welling up from our eyes. It is the gap that has been left empty and that we cannot fill.
When you love someone deeply and have been really happy with him, the fact that he is no longer with you is a cause for sadness. Of course it is understandable in the first moments, however after a certain time you should move forward and continue with your life.
Missing is more than remembering and above all, more than suffering. Because you can have the nice memory of a teacher from school or a trip you have made. But, missing goes further. To miss is to find ourselves again in front of the emptiness that that game left us. And it is very difficult to fill it again!
Missing is hard to explain
We have looked up the meaning of the word “miss” in the dictionary and it may help us a bit. It is a transitive verb and means “to notice the lack of something that is commonly used and that has been replaced by something else.” From this definition as an encyclopedia we could draw some conclusions …
To begin with, it indicates that it is the lack of something that is “used” frequently. If we transfer it to the feelings we will say that missing takes place when we do not have someone whom we saw continuously and who we love very much.
Second, it is affirmed that that something or someone has been replaced by another. In reality, if you are suffering, it is because you have not yet been able to replace it. Or the place that being occupied is now populated by a great void that cannot be filled.
Miss or remember?
We already have the approximate definition of the action of wonder. We would need to remember to complete this puzzle. Again looking in the dictionary we find that remembering is about “bringing to one’s memory something perceived, learned or known. Keep something in mind ”.
What can be deduced from it? That the memories are kept in the brain! That is, they are not related to feelings and if so, they do not make us sad or make us want to cry. To sum up, to miss is to miss a person and the moments we have lived together.
For its part, remembering is bringing those beautiful scenes to our mind but leaving aside the longing or nostalgia. In other words, without the feelings that were experienced back then. Of course it is difficult to “rip” emotions out of a memory, we are not robots or machines. But many times it is worth trying to avoid depression, crying or even hatred that it generates.
If you want to avoid missing each time you remember someone, you may want to put those thoughts away as much as possible. For example, do not do what his face, the words said or the shared moments may bring to mind.
