My Partner Takes Me Away From My Friends
The anthropologist Robin Dunbar has studied the effect of having a partner and being in love in the relationship with our friends and the results he has obtained are clear: when a new person enters your life, it displaces two others from your closest circle, so general to a family member and a friend.
It is common that, especially at the beginning of a relationship, we want to spend more time with our partner and enjoy that passion and emotion from the beginning fully, but over time, if the relationship consolidates, it will be time to introduce our partner to family and friends.
The arrival of a new person to our circle of friends can be viewed with suspicion in the first moments, but after this, little by little, the most natural thing will be for us to integrate our partner into our relationships with other people such as friends and family.
The difficult balance between friends and partner
Each of us has friends, family, interests and tastes that characterize us and when two people begin to get to know each other and start a relationship, little by little each of these facets of each other’s life are introduced and explored.
A relationship is sharing and enjoying the differences, but that is not achieved overnight, but requires a process that involves time. Knowing a person in depth requires time and patience, therefore it is an investment.
Our friends are present in a very important way in our lives and exert an influence on us and, sometimes, on our relationship as a couple. Sometimes it is difficult to combine friends and partner, even giving rise to a serious conflict.
How to combine friendships with your relationship
According to Robin Dunbar, love takes time away from friends and that causes friendships to deteriorate because if you do not see people, the emotional bond with each friend is rapidly weakening. Here are some guidelines to follow in order to have a balance between your relationship with your partner and your friendship relationships:
Have respect
Respect for the life of our partner, for their friends and their tastes is essential for the relationship to work. If your partner takes you away from your friends, ask for respect to be able to share time with them, to continue cultivating those friendly relationships that are important to you.
Reserve some time for your friends
A relationship implies that there will be a part of our life that we share and another in which we maintain our individuality. Spending time with our friends, sharing experiences, talking with them and being close to them is something that is important to keep even though we have a partner.
Don’t let your friends interfere with your relationship
On many occasions, the great trust we have in our friends allows them to express their opinion about our relationship or our partner, but it is important that you know how to differentiate what they think and what you want, because perhaps that interference from your friends is what causes that your partner takes you away from them.
Respect the privacy of your partner
Sometimes we tend to tell all kinds of intimacies of our partner to our friends, but it is important to respect what we share in our love relationship with another person. Sometimes, if something worries us, we can share it with a friend, but always with respect.
Friendship is good for your health
For both men and women, having friends is good for your health. People with a large number of friends have the lowest blood pressure, suffer less stress, have stronger defenses, and even live longer.
According to the psychologist at Brigham Young University (Utah – United States), Julianne Holt-Lundstad: “Studies show a 50% increased probability of living longer if you have a solid network of social relationships”
Therefore, even if we have a partner, it is essential to cultivate and take care of our friendship relationships and learn to combine them with a couple relationship. Sometimes it is complicated, but it is worth the effort to be fully happy.
