Over Time You Learn To Love More But Less People
It is an open secret that true friends can be counted on the fingers of one hand and that, as the years go by, the quality of our relationships outweighs the quantity. That is why we say that over time you learn to love more and fewer people.
Life experiences “force” us to encircle our social circle, to make it more select and to manage distances and proximities more precisely and according to our needs. It is not that we become sullen or, as some would say, antisocial, but in reality we are not so interested in having people around us but in surrounding ourselves with those who really matter to us.
Disappointments have a lot to do with this, but also vital circumstances. We don’t have the same time to interact with 15 as with 30 or 40; Furthermore, priorities change and that is what leads us to be more selective.
The deeper friendship, the more pleasant
It is very common to feel alone but accompanied. In the same way, we can affirm that it is common for this feeling to become more common and present as we get older. In fact, there are studies that affirm it: each year that passes helps us to prioritize quality over quantity.
Let’s say that we end up selecting and putting before those people with whom we fit in the best and who we feel provide us with a fuller well-being at all levels: social, emotional, cognitive, etc.
Somehow our concept of friendship changes throughout life. When we are little everyone is our friend, except if one day we get angry over a toy. It does not matter because no affront is lasting, which as adults we find it truly touching to observe.
Generally, everyone goes through stages or moments in which they feel out of place in those environments that are supposed to “be theirs . ” This usually happens from preadolescence and adolescence proper, as we are looking for our site.
Later, in our youth, we keep trying to put together and put the pieces of our puzzle together again and again. According to evolutionary developmental researchers like Erikson, great confusion still reigns at this stage.
Over the years, we prioritize being at ease, feeling loved and important, balancing interests and thoughts, stimulating our minds through debates and managing our world in a much more mature way.
The people and friends we like
Really, the friendships that we like and add to us are those that do not have the need to take a hundred photos and upload them to social networks. We also love those that if they have to scold us, they scold us; that they throw us to the lions if it is necessary so that we wake up; who are not afraid to alleviate feelings or clear up misunderstandings.
Those are the friendships that end up becoming brotherhoods, deep unions far from hidden interiors or masked concerns. Those, the ones that remain in time and recover from everything, those are the ones that deserve the fullest hugs and the most complicit looks.
