The Brave Are Those Who Know Fear Best

These days we are still recovering from the blow that Spain has suffered in one of its most important cities, Barcelona. The people – the people who form it, regardless of their ideology – have felt the losses and wounds as their own and the manifestations of rejection and rejection have followed one another. Of course, some with more success than others.

Of all the messages that have gained followers in demonstrations and social networks, one has particularly caught my attention. Not very original, very recurring and no less interesting for that. It is about the one who states that we are not afraid. Now, the question, really no, that it is not an emotion that these days has been able to draw on the faces of the inhabitants or tourists of the city of Barcelona?

Yes I have fear

This motto perhaps innocently collects all that we still have to understand in the field of emotions. Emotional Intelligence is in fashion, it populates bookstore windows and article titles, but we are still a long way from being integrated into our discourse, which after all is still a daily manifestation of how we think and feel.

Let’s talk about fear, because I do have it and my grandmother also has it when she tells me not to even think about stepping on those parts. Prudence, caution, fear. Fear that it will happen again: because of the unexpected, because of the inevitable, because of the random, because of how quickly oblivion will come for those who have seen cropped images and have not heard sirens or desperately sought a way out of that trap, place of quiet walk adorned with roses just moments before.

Let’s talk about how we do not want to acknowledge the fear of panic that shows us vulnerable: because as children we have been taught that showing vulnerability is a sign of weakness. In this way, we panic to feel that we are vulnerable, to acknowledge it for our conscious inner dialogue. Thus, we tiptoe over fear and deny it three times seven. Because the product is not a multiple of six and therefore there is no devil in it worth its salt, is there?

What happens when we deny fear?

Now, what are the consequences of denying an emotion, in this case, fear? In the first place,  that the energy of this emotion is dispersed or derived in other emotions that we do recognize, such as rage or anger. By increasing the energy of the emotions of this pole, what happens is that the control we have over them becomes much weaker, provoking acts of senseless revenge against those who we think share characteristics with the terrorists. In this case, the characteristic that has the greatest salience is religion.

And what does it produce to blame the followers of an entire religion? Well, for example, it facilitates the work of people who are dedicated to attracting followers for barbarism. In other words, the almost immediate consequence is that the number of people willing to win paradise is multiplied at the cost of their lives and those of those who “hate” them.

On the other hand, let’s think that when we ignore fear we hide our courage. A bravery that deserves the reward, at least, of being recognized by the people who wear it or add it to their emblem. Fear allows us to recognize the effort and merit of the citizens who the next day have taken to the streets to tell the terrorists that they will not hide, it also allows us to understand those who have not.

Recognizing fear also makes it easier to decipher our inner world or explain the characteristic symptoms of anxiety that we may present. By denying it, however, we miss out on this possibility and also run the risk of ending up dissociating it.

The fear that an attack can produce, at first, is very adaptive. He tells us, “be careful!”, Something happens, let’s be careful. In addition, recognizing this fear allows us to empathize or join the people who also feel it. Otherwise, we prevent them from feeling like weirdos, as weak, when the emotion is consistent with what has happened … and perhaps the non-consequential are those who pretend to deny what they feel.

I tell my grandmother that I understand her fear and that I have it too, don’t worry, I’ll be careful … and she is calmer because she knows that my behavior will not be alien to how we both feel. An emotion that gives both of us the opportunity to be brave.