The Difference Between Fantasy And Desire

Is it fantasy or desire? Millions of thoughts pass through our minds a day, but we only select those that we consider most relevant. We choose the thoughts that most represent us at a given moment, those that help us to solve specific problems and those that are more in line with our vision of the world, people and the future.

It is this very human capacity that allows us to change the world around us by modifying the way we interpret it. But it is also our weakness to succumb to negative thoughts that hurt and paralyze us. 

Pathological anxiety, for example, is based on the interpretation of situations that we classify as threatening and that only exist in the imagination. In other words, it is we, influenced by these hypotheses of what may happen, who are paralyzed by a non-existent threat. Our thinking, coupled with previous experiences and bodily reactions of fear, anticipates disaster.

The best friend and the worst enemy of the soul

Fantasy allows us to build parallel worlds, impossible creatures, and great movie scripts. Not only does artistic creation benefit from this ability, but science advances thanks to the fantasy of going beyond what we see.

It is important to know the limit between fantasy and reality. It is at this point where the great mystery of what we really want and what we simply imagine is hidden. The key is to know that we are capable of imagining the best but also the worst, and that not everything that we fantasize we really want. They are just that, thoughts.

We can be in the car, imagine that we turn the wheel abruptly and that we unleash a series of events  that end up in disaster. We are able to imagine the moment, the words of our relatives in the hospital, the pain we cause, the image of the wrecked car and, if we want, even our funeral. But no, we don’t want it.

We can walk down the street, observe a person and imagine a story around them : fantasize about their possible life, their past, what they work on, their hobbies, their weaknesses and even the fantasy of an encounter with them. But no, it does not mean that this is so or that we want it.

Fantasy can turn into desire

Desire is more than fantasy. Fantasy stays in our thoughts, nothing in our head and encourages our creative mind.

When we wish, we know that something moves us inside and is in accordance with our morals and our way of understanding our world. We have a fantasy, we wonder if we would like to carry it out and our answer is yes .  From that moment on, we can perform an action, a gesture, that leads us to the object of desire.

To be clear about the difference, let’s think about infidelity. We can have fantasies with other people who are not our partner, but not want to carry out that action. It really only serves us to recreate our imagination and enjoy it in silence, or transform that story into artistic expression. This does not mean that we are unfaithful, it is only fantasy, do not feel bad about it.

This does not mean it inevitably becomes reality, but it can be considered that we want something when we go beyond our thinking.