Wanting To Control Everything Is Not Good For You

Wanting to control everything is one of those fantasies that has been installed in these times. The history of man is that of a progressive conquest over the forces of nature. It started with a mammal powerless in the face of its environment. From there until now, the human being has taken a gigantic leap that has led him to progressively unravel the mysteries of his surroundings.

Now we live in hectic times. Everything happens at a pace that is faster than our ability to digest it. That is why there is nothing strange that one of the recurring fantasies is precisely that of controlling everything. In the background there is a desire to step on solid ground, to feel that we have the helm of our own life.

The downside is that we don’t always realize that controlling everything is a fantasy. An unattainable purpose that when forgotten gives way to a series of failed behaviors that attract waves of anxiety. We find ourselves constantly losing control and that frustrates us.

Everything is in motion and there are hundreds of factors beyond our control. What is alive is constantly changing. Today is one way and tomorrow another. The only state in which there are absolute certainties is death. Life, on the other hand, unfolds between uncertainties and unexpected flows.

The fantasy of controlling everything

We are no longer in the times when it was possible to live peacefully. We are constantly bombarded by hundreds of stimuli. You wake up and a lot of ideas and sensations come to your head that follow each other or run over each other. We feel that there is much to do and little time for it.

Every day we are also faced with conflicting feelings and emotions. Sometimes we have to force ourselves to redirect them, even without having come to understand them. We simply have to function. And for this, it is necessary to impose limits on ourselves , to get out of the uncomfortable thoughts or emotions that prevent us from producing, achieving, acting.

Although we do not put it that way, we do want to be able to control everything. That is why every time something goes out of plan, or when an obstacle appears, we may react by irritating ourselves. It is a kind of rebellion against those imperatives of reality that go against our purposes.

In these circumstances, it is usual that we end up immersed in some paradoxes. We managed to control the flow of money, but we could not control the insomnia. We become able to establish control over our fatigue, but those relationships that matter so much to us get out of hand. Try as we may, we can never control everything.

Conscious observation and mindfulness

There is a truth that non-Western cultures know very well and that we forget very often. Life is not lived with the mind, but with the senses. Thought is there all the time, mediating our approach to reality. The mind directs our life based on prejudices, fears, ambitions and a very long etcetera. Likewise, it deprives us of experiencing skin to skin each of our days.

What does this have to do with this desire to control everything? What happens is that thought works that way: it limits, it tries to apprehend everything in order to appropriate it and direct everything in some sense. Perceptions, feelings, and emotions work differently. They are more rebellious and chaotic, but also more free and authentic. They are that area that “sabotages” our attempts to impose control on everything. It is also what allows us to experience happiness.

Many times we find ourselves fighting against ourselves. Our thinking puts content there and then we strive to eradicate it. We are not trying to understand it, but to get it out of consciousness as soon as possible. We feel, for example, a fit of anxiety and we immediately try to put the restlessness away to make it disappear. Perhaps if we adopt a position of acceptance and observation, we could find ourselves with a different panorama.

Learn to perceive ourselves, without judging ourselves, without thinking, but simply contemplating ourselves… Not trying to control everything, but allowing things to flow, both internally and externally. That is the path that leads us back to experiencing life in a more genuine way. Without apprehensions. Out of all this comes a new form of understanding, which is not expressed as intellectual learning, but vital. A form of higher consciousness that leads to balance.