Why Is It So Hard For Me To Make Decisions?
Life is a constant decision making. From the time we get up until we go to bed, we have to choose, select, opt for some alternatives and discard others. In something as simple, as choosing what to have for breakfast, or in something more complex, such as accepting or rejecting a job or ending a relationship, we find crossroads. But why do some people have such a hard time making decisions?
We can all experience restlessness or uneasiness when faced with significant dilemmas. Nobody wants to be wrong and have to later regret the consequences. However, sometimes this indecision becomes pathological, seriously affecting people’s well-being. Discovering the causes can guide us about what aspects need to be worked on to reverse this situation.
Why is it so difficult to make decisions?
If we stop to think about why it is so difficult for us to make decisions, we may not be able to identify the reasons. But, in many cases, it is the following reasons that hold us back :
Fear of taking responsibility
Being adults gives us the opportunity to choose and act according to our preferences and opinions. This leads us to a freer life than when we were minors, but it also burdens us with the enormous weight of responsibility. And it is that, at this moment, the result depends solely on us, there is no one to blame. Thus, the fear of making mistakes, of making mistakes and having to bear the consequences of our actions can paralyze us when deciding.
Take as an example the case of a person who considers leaving his job to bet on a business. She knows that only she will be responsible if it goes wrong and ends up ruined; but it will also be so if you continue in that job and feel totally unhappy. Assuming this clash of forces is not easy and some people overflow or block them.
Choosing implies discarding
Decision-making can get complicated when we realize that we are not just choosing one option; at the same time, we are also giving up all the others. For this reason, many people carry out a thorough and thorough analysis of all the alternatives.
This tendency to overanalyze and over-rationalize decisions makes us slow; sometimes misfits, taking into account the dynamism of our environment. And it is that the individual never feels that he has all the necessary information or that he has taken into account all the perspectives.
Thus, the analysis seems to have no end and is never satisfactory. For example: buying a car implies not buying the others; and among them you may find one that is faster, safer or with a better price than the one you chose.
Inappropriate parenting styles
Generally under these fears, insecurities and indecisions is an inappropriate parenting style during childhood. Autonomy, self-confidence and responsibility are aspects that begin to be worked at home, from the first years of life. As infants make decisions and learn from them, it becomes more and more natural for them. Thus, upon reaching adulthood they are able to choose without major problem.
However, sometimes this process is not carried out properly. If the parents are excessively overprotective, they prevent the child from deciding and experiencing the consequences. For the same reason, he will have to face adult decisions without having practiced with other smaller ones during his growth. On the other hand, very authoritarian parents tend to recriminate their children’s mistakes excessively, creating a load of guilt and anxiety that can paralyze them when it comes to deciding.
What to do when it takes so much to make decisions?
Those who suffer from high levels of indecision can find serious difficulties in their day-to-day life. They are generally people who act submissive and dependent and always need the company of others to decide. This generates anguish, insecurity and low self-esteem in addition to preventing them from developing as autonomous adults.
Therefore, in these cases it is necessary to start working with beliefs, accept mistakes as a natural part of the process and learn to relativize. But, above all, it will be essential to practice, start making decisions and gradually strengthen security and self-confidence. Career counseling can be of great help when the process seems too complex to tackle alone.
